For my 11th wedding anniversary, my husband and I went to a cemetery.

I realize that it probably doesn’t sound like a very romantic date, but it’s tough for us to get a babysitter, so we had to multitask. And I really, really wanted to see this particular cemetery, because it features prominently in my upcoming book, Curses, Foiled Again.

Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California is the final resting place of over 250,000 people, including numerous celebrities. But it’s more than just a cemetery. The park also contains a museum, two mausoleums, and three chapels, which are all replicas of actual historical churches in Europe. (Fun fact: Ronald Regan married his first wife at one of chapels called the Wee Kirk O' The Heather.) (Another fun fact: Yes, that’s really what it’s called.) There’s also the Hall of the Crucifixion-Resurrection, a building constructed for the sole purpose of exhibiting the world’s second largest painting. There are over 1500 statues, ten percent of which are reproductions of works by famous sculptors—the park hosts a complete collection of replicas of Michelangelo’s work. Over a million people visit each year.

All of this is the brainchild of Dr. Hubert Eaton. As an evangelical Christian, he had a strong belief that mortal death marked the beginning of a joyous eternal life in Paradise. Therefore, he felt that cemeteries have no business being gloomy. In 1917, Eaton took over the management of the park and began to implement his vision of a “happy eternal life.” He even laid out his vision in a massive stone monument entitled “the Builder’s Creed,” which states that Forest Lawn will be “as unlike other cemeteries as sunshine is to darkness.” In the Creed, Eaton promises that the park will be “filled with towering trees, sweeping lawns, splashing fountains, singing birds, beautiful statuary, cheerful flowers, noble memorial architecture with interiors full of light and color, and redolent of the world’s best history and romances.” (You can read the whole thing here.) A statue of two children and a puppy look up in awe at the Creed. You can stand right next to them and gape at it yourself. It’s pretty gape-worthy. The Builder’s Creed is not the only monument containing Dr. Eaton’s musings—there are several others, all in stone, which are always signed not as Dr. Eaton, but as The Builder.

So yeah, it’s not your typical cemetery. Have I mentioned it’s a franchise? There are ten Forest Lawn locations.

In Curses, Foiled Again, the cursed witch John has bought a plot here. Without giving away too much, he fully expects to be dead soon, and as a fan of Old Hollywood, he likes the idea of being buried in the same place as many of Hollywood’s brightest stars. Even without the celebrities, though, the appeal of this place is apparent. Eaton definitely achieved his vision. This is the happiest cemetery on earth.

Which is to say, it’s also a little—well, tacky. Or not tacky, exactly—everything is beautiful and meticulously crafted. There’s not a blade of grass out of place. It’s neat and tidy—in other words, not remotely like reality of death. This is death as a Disneyland attraction—in fact, Disney himself is buried here. There’s even music playing from invisible speakers as you walk around the place, just like when you walk down Main Street, USA in Disneyland—a Main Street which doesn’t resemble any actual place, but the dream of a place, an idealized image that’s fun and comforting—but it’s not real.

​That’s the vibe of the place—unreal. I never knew quite how to behave. Could I take pictures there? Cameras were prohibited in the mausoleums, but according to the Builder himself, he wanted Forest Lawn to be “a place where lovers new and old shall love to stroll and watch the sunset’s glow…where artists study and sketch…where school teachers bring happy children to see things they read of in books,” which made me feel like maybe pictures were okay? I mean, this is a cemetery with a gift shop and thirteen-foot high statues of the Founding Fathers. Surely pictures were okay. What I ended up doing was waiting for my husband to give me the all clear sign, and then snapped the pictures.

And there were enough people around that we did have to wait until the coast was clear. Some of them were obviously grieving relatives, but there were a lot of people who looked more like my husband and me, consulting pamphlets over what attraction—er, monument to visit next. The museum was small but still busy—the current exhibition hosted art work by the painter Cao Yong. It was pretty good. We also took in a show at the Hall of the Crucifixion-Resurrection. It turns out that you can’t just go and look at the world’s second-largest painting. It’s a whole presentation that shows on the hour every hour and lasts about twenty minutes. It tells the story of how Dr. Eaton heroically tracked down the painting, which depicts the moments leading up to Christ’s crucifixion. It had been lost for thirty years, tied up in customs when the Polish artist couldn’t pay the tariff. The presentation also explains how Dr. Eaton commissioned the sequel painting, which isn’t quite as big but is still very impressive. And yes, it’s a sequel—it completes the Crucifixion/Resurrection duology, which skips over the actual crucifixion—as has already been established, Forest Lawn is a strictly “No Bummer” zone.

But even as I found the whole spectacle of the place a little disorienting, I have to admit that I enjoyed myself. The park is huge—we ended up spending about three hours there and still didn’t manage to see everything. Every time you thought you’d seen it all, you’d round a corner and find, for example, the Labyrinth, which is described as a “walking path meditation,” or a giant mosaic of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. The mausoleums were absolutely gorgeous, filled with beautiful stained glass windows.

And complaining that it all feels “fake” is kind of missing the point. Yes, it’s a little on the gaudy side, but I think the idea of making cemeteries nice places to visit is a good one. I’m not a Christian, so the reassurances of a glorious life after death weren’t particularly relevant to me, but both my husband and I agreed that celebrating the lives of people who have passed is a better way to honor their memoires than dwelling on the fact that they’re dead. It was weirdly nice way to spend the afternoon. And whether you believe in the “happy eternal life” or, like in my case, “YOLO,” it serves as a good reminder of both. 

Vampires: of all the reanimated corpses who prey on the living, they are undoubtedly the sexiest. But not all vampires are created equal. Before you attempt to initiate any sexy times with a vampire, you first need to determine what kind of vampire you’re dealing with. This field guide will help you do just that.

1.) BLOOD ZOMBIES
The only difference between these vampires and zombies is that they thirst for blood rather than brains. They’re also not quite as gross-looking, but that’s not saying much. Their sole drive is to drink the blood of the living, so don’t expect any interesting conversation.

WHERE THEY CAN BE FOUND:
European villages

CAN I HAVE SEX WITH THEM?
I can’t imagine why you would want to, but far be it for me to kink shame anyone. Just remember to use protection (i.e., garlic, crosses, etc.)

2.) DRACULAS
Named for the Count who is the most prominent example, Draculas are sophisticated, sensual, and alluringly dangerous. They tend to be very wealthy, so you can expect to enjoy some luxury if you manage fall into their clutches. Be forewarned that they’re just as blood-thirsty as blood zombies, but if you play your cards right, they might take you into their Dark Embrace so that you can join them in eternal life. (WARNING: Side effects of eternal life may include existential angst and intense broodiness.)

WHERE THEY CAN BE FOUND:
Opulent castles and antebellum chateaux

CAN I HAVE SEX WITH THEM?
There’s a 90% chance you’ll end up dead, but what a way to go! Bear in mind that some of them are canonically impotent, so you might have to get creative.

3.) YAMPIRES
These Young Adult vampires are very good-looking and darkly brooding. They mostly have that bloodlust thing under control, so you aren’t quite as likely to be eaten. They do occasionally go on killing sprees, but they feel super bad about it afterward, and really, aren’t they the true victims when that happens?

WHERE THEY CAN BE FOUND:
Your local high school

CAN I HAVE SEX WITH THEM?
You can try, but it’s tricky. Some of them are under gypsy curses. Others have taken chastity pledges, so you’ll have to put a ring on it first. They’re also likely to spend a lot of time explaining to you how they are too dangerous for your love. Also, if you’re over the age of 21, they’re probably not going to be that into you.

4.) VILFs
Now we’re talking! VILFs have a lot in common with Yampires, except they are totally DTF. While you battle monsters and solve mysteries together, the sexual tension between the two of you will become so intense that sex will be inevitable.

WHERE THEY CAN BE FOUND:
In your pants

CAN I HAVE SEX WITH THEM?
Hobviously.

5.) “REAL” VAMPIRES
Unlike some of the “fake” vampires on this list, “real” vampires are MONSTERS, like vampires are supposed to be. They’re dangerous predators who are definitely NOT sexy! They’ll rip your throat out and bathe in your blood!

WHERE THEY CAN BE FOUND:
The same place you can find serial killers, scary clowns, zombies, etc.

CAN I HAVE SEX WITH THEM?
No, sorry—wrong genre.

So there you have it! If you have encountered a different species of vampire, please feel free to leave it in the comments, but I think that this field guide should give you a good head start on finding a vampire to bone. Happy hunting!*
 
*DISCLAIMER: The author is not responsible for any injury sustained by users of this guide, including blood loss, dismemberment, or death. Use at your own risk.

By the way, my own contribution to the vampire genre -- Curses, Foiled Again -- is now available for preorder at Amazon and NineStar Press!

And if you would like to keep up with my new releases, etc., you can sign up for my newsletter here!

Okay, so there are no real vampires in this story, but the love is true!

For my fourteenth birthday, what I wanted more than anything else was to go to Barnes and Noble on my own. (This should give you a good idea of what kind of kid I was.) So my mom dropped me off, leaving me to explore the store and pick out a few books with my birthday money.

This was in December of 1994, right after the movie adaptation of Interview with the Vampire had debuted, so all of the books in the Vampire Chronicles were prominently displayed. There is no other way I would found them—I certainly wouldn’t have gone looking for them. I was very sheltered as a child, with my parents enforcing strict rules against violent books and R-rated movies. It wasn’t that my parents were conservative—quite the opposite. The rules were in place mostly to preserve their sanity, because I am and have always been a complete nervous wreck. A single glimpse at anything vaguely scary would give me nightmares for weeks, which meant my parents didn’t get to sleep for weeks, either. I was happily complicit in my own sheltering.

But now I was fourteen—practically a woman.  I picked up a paperback copy of Interview with the Vampire and read the back cover. Yes, it was a book about vampires, and vampires are pretty scary! But the blurbs made the book sound intriguing. “A chilling, thought-provoking tale, beautifully frightening, sensuous, and utterly unnerving,” said the Hartford Courant. “A magnificent, compulsively readable thriller,” said the Chicago Tribune. “Unrelentingly erotic,” said the Washington Post.

Hmm.

I looked at the promotional display, which featured a vampire with blue eyes, which seemed to pierce my very soul. I looked back to the book, and made my decision.

“What did you get?” my mom asked when she picked me up.

I hesitated but didn’t see any real way around concealing the truth. Besides, my mom was one of my best friends! You don’t lie to your best friend, right? I showed her the book.

My mom didn’t say anything for a moment. Perhaps she was reflecting on how her little girl was now a woman. Or maybe she was thinking how her frizzy-haired, bespectacled daughter had just spent her fourteenth birthday by herself at a Barnes and Noble, which was already pretty sad and would only be made sadder by getting a lecture from her mom.

“Well, I hope you enjoy it!” she said with a smile.

And I did enjoy it—very much. I shut the book after reading the last page, completely astonished by what I’d read. It was all so…adult. Characters wrestled with good and evil, the meaning of life, the nature of love…and despite there being no actual sex, I totally understood where the Washington Post was coming from.

Emboldened by my success at getting the book, I mentioned to my mom that I would like to see the movie. That was a hard no. I found it very unjust, but what was I going to do—break the rules? My parents were capable of terrifying things, like shaking their heads at me and sighing. They might even actually say “I’m disappointed in you,” which was too horrible to contemplate.

But I was able to read the sequels, which I did in quick succession. I needed someone to share my obsession, so I gave the books to my best friend to read (not my mom—my other best friend). She, too, was amazed. We were both hooked.

Months passed. Interview with the Vampire was released on VHS. Seeing it was easier than before, but I was still too nervous to attempt it. Then one night, I was invited to a group sleepover with a friend whose parents my mom did not know very well. Her mom was a lot more relaxed about movies—she was fine with us watching whatever we wanted. I spied a copy of Interview with the Vampire.

“How about this one?” I said casually.

The other girls weren’t very interested, but I manage to persuade them. And so I finally got to watch it, and it was glorious. Even better than I had imagined.

I felt bad that my best friend didn’t get to see it, since her parents also had strict rules about movies, and there never seemed to be a good time at school to convey to her the full experience. I didn’t want my parents to hear me over the phone, though, so I wrote her a letter and sent it to her in the mail. She was pretty impressed at how I’d pulled it off.

My love for vampires has never really faded. Part of me is surprised that it took me this long to write my own vampire story. There are a lot more goofy moments than you’d get in an Anne Rice book, but I still included all of the elements of the vampire genre that I find compelling—the nature of good and evil, the struggle with mortality—and, of course, unrelenting eroticism. (Okay, maybe not unrelenting—more like intermittent eroticism.) I think you guys are going to like it!

​What was your first exposure to vampires? Are you a Louis person or a Lestat person?

 Well, sort of -- it's been up on my facebook page for a while (which can be found over here). But here it is officially!

Isn't it beautiful? It was designed by the lovely Natasha Snow, and I couldn't be happier with it!

Curses, Foiled Again will go live on Novemeber 27. I have always loved vampires, so it was a lot of fun putting my own spin on the lore. My original idea was to write a book with a satirical twist on the typical vampire romance, with a mortal character who the dark and brooding one. Along the way, the story morphed into something a lot more than a satire. John and Felix's story is equal parts comedy and tragedy as they stumble their way towards love. I can't wait for you to read it!

I'm putting together an ARC team in anticipation of the release, so let me know if you're interested in taking part. Most of the slots have already been filled, but I still have a few spaces left! You can email me at seratrevor@gmail.com.

​Psst, subscribers to my newsletter -- check your email. There's a present waiting for you. :) 

(If you don't see it, check your spam/promo folder.)

Also, Curses, Foiled Again will be out on November 27th. Stay tuned for more details.

Greetings, readers!

This weekend, a friend of mine is running a special promotion of LGBT fantasy novels, all available either free or for $.99! Many of these deals are good for this weekend only, so click on the banner to hop over and download a book or five. (And if you haven't grabbed a copy of my high fantasy novel, A Shadow on the Sun, now would be a great opportunity to do it!) Happy reading!

Wow, it's been quite a long time since I've had anything to report. I've encountered a few bumps on the road to my next book, but I'm happy to say that it's finally done!

Curses, Foiled Again is a paranormal romance set in Los Angeles, the "City of Broken Dreams." John Richmond has long since given up on dreams, so the city suits him just fine. He's a witch under a terrible curse, and it's only a matter of time before it claims his life. As a fan of Old Hollywood, he likes the idea of his final resting place being beside the great actors and actresses of the silver screen. For now, he's working as a waiter in a sleazy diner, although he's hoping it won't be for long. He's ready to meet his fate. Instead, he meets a scatterbrained vampire who develops an annoyingly persistent fascination with him.

The vampire is named Felix, and he's going through his own existential crisis (although he isn't quite self-aware enough to realize it). His sister, Cat, was a famous actress in Hollywood's Golden Age, but her own golden days are over. She's under the control of her cruel husband, a witch named Richard. He used her in the past to make a name for himself as a famous producer, and he is still using her: through dark magic, he is able to harness her vampire powers to extend his own life. But while he was able to prolong his life, he couldn't prolong his relevance, and so he and Cat have faded into obscurity. Now they languish in an old estate, isolated from the modern world. Felix won't abandon his sister, so he, too, is stuck in limbo. However, when he meets John, he is startled out of the stupor of his existence. He isn't sure what he wants from John, but the witch boy has stirred something inside him that he can't quite name. He isn't giving up until he figures out exactly what it is.

Curses, Foiled Again has been provisionally accepted for publication by NineStar Press, so I can't give an exact date when it will be available. However, I'm so excited for you all to read it that I've decided to put up the first chapter. You can read it here. Let me know what you think!

​Hello everyone! I hope that the new year is treating you all well so far. I wanted to write a post to thank those of you who nominated my books for the Goodreads M/M Romance Group's Reader’s Choice awards! The Troll Whisperer has been nominated for Best Contemporary, Best Love is an Open Road Story, and Best Cover Art (although the honor for that one goes to the amazing Bree Archer). A Shadow on the Sun was nominated as well for Best Fantasy and Best Friends-to-Lovers. (Links will take you to the polls.) There were some truly awesome m/m romance books published in 2015, so I feel incredibly honored to have a place along side such amazing books and authors. Polls close January 15.

Hi everyone!  I wanted to point you in the direction of an interview I did at Gillian St. Kevern's blog, which you can find right over here. While you're there, you should check out her books; Gillian is like my writing brain twin. If you like my stuff, you'll love hers!